Vietnamese Etiquette: What to Do (and Not Do) in Real Situations

Most etiquette guides give you a long list of rules. In real life you do not need to memorise twenty dos and don’ts — you need to know what to do in the handful of situations you will actually be in. So this guide is organised by situation: walking into a temple, sitting down to a shared meal, being invited home, bargaining at a market, and simply moving around in public.

At a temple or pagoda

• Dress modestly. Cover your shoulders and knees. A light scarf or sarong in your bag solves this anywhere.
• Take off your shoes when you see others doing it, usually before entering the main hall.
• Speak quietly and do not touch statues or offerings.
• Ask before photographing monks or people praying. Many places are fine with photos; some halls are not.
• Do not point your feet at an altar or a Buddha statue when sitting.

At a shared meal

Vietnamese meals are shared: dishes go in the middle, everyone has a bowl of rice, and you take a little at a time.

• Wait for the oldest person to start eating, or for your host to invite you.
• Never stand your chopsticks upright in rice. It looks like incense at a funeral altar. Lay them across your bowl instead.
• Take small portions from the shared dishes, and take food from the side nearest you.
• Toasts are social. When someone raises a glass, join in. “Một, hai, ba, dô!” (one, two, three, cheers!) is the classic.
• Paying: Vietnamese friends often argue over who pays. If you are the guest, offer once politely — but expect to lose.

If you are invited to someone’s home

• Take off your shoes at the door.
• Bring a small gift — fruit, sweets, or something from your country. Avoid giving sharp objects or handkerchiefs.
• Greet the oldest person first.
• Give and receive things with both hands, especially with older people. It is a small sign of respect that people notice.
• You will probably be offered tea and fruit. Accepting a little is polite.

At the market or when bargaining

• Bargaining is normal at markets and with street sellers, but not in supermarkets, cafés with menus or most restaurants.
• Keep it friendly. Smile, make an offer, and meet in the middle. Getting angry over a small amount makes everyone lose face.
• If you agree on a price, pay it. Walking away after agreeing is considered rude.

In public

• Stay calm. Raising your voice causes embarrassment for everyone. A calm, polite, firm tone gets far better results.
• Public affection: holding hands is fine; kissing in public makes many people uncomfortable, especially outside big cities.
• Beckoning: call someone over with your palm facing down and fingers waving, not with one finger pointing up.
• Do not touch people’s heads, including children’s.
• Crossing the street: walk slowly and steadily. Motorbikes will flow around you; sudden stops or runs are what cause accidents.

Things you do not need to worry about

• Tipping is not traditional and never required. Rounding up or leaving small change for good service is appreciated.
• Personal questions about your age, job or whether you are married are normal small talk, not rudeness. Answer as much as you like.
• Getting a word wrong in Vietnamese. Any attempt is met with smiles.

Five words that earn instant smiles

Being polite also protects your wallet — read our guide to tourist scams in Vietnam for the situations to watch.